Mary Lou's Torrid Love Life
by Hafl
Summary: The trials and tribulations that Mary-Lou faced in her relationships at Malory Towers.
1. 01 Gwendoline

There were all kinds of low and wrong feelings in Mary-Lou's heart. For one, it was relief that she was not the one who was disgraced by arguing and being homesick. Envy that that girl, Gwendoline Mary, was able to express her feelings so freely, not minding that her new schoolmates would scorn her. Irritation, both with Gwendoline for making a scene and with herself for being so hypocritical, when she wanted nothing more than to break down and cry, not to pretend to be strong.

Yet, there were also some better, more admirable feelings. She wanted to go and hug the poor girl, to tell her not to worry. However, the looks on faces of all the other girls dissuaded her from that and she hated her own cowardice, which she was still unable to fully overcome. She admired Gwen for being so strong and free, she admired Gwen for her beauty, her golden hair and her doll-like face, still pretty, even now when it was puffy and red from crying.

So, when she was alone, Mary-Lou went to Gwen. She went to her not because there was no else to go to, but because she wanted to. She did not mind Gwen being selfish for as long as Gwen gave Mary-Lou a little of her friendship, Mary-Lou was content. She was content with being allowed to brush Gwen's hair and feel the silky strands under her fingers. Her heart soared whenever Gwen smiled at her, and she was ready to do almost anything for Gwen.

Therefore, Mary-Lou was ready to forgive Gwen and give her second chance at friendship, even after the pen incident. Partly, it was from shame, since after all, she did betray Gwen for Darrell's sake, but it was also because she did like Gwen, really, truly, liked her, with all her flaws, in spite of all her flaws. She was still ready upon Gwen's single word, to become Gwen's slave, in exchange for just a few words of friendship.

It was one of the last days of the term, when sullen Gwen presented Mary-Lou with the pen she had bought as a replacement for the broken one. They were alone in a corner of the courtyard, all alone. Mary-Lou took the pen with shaking hand and thanked Gwen, who was already turning around to walk away.

"Gwen, wait!" said Mary-Lou.

"What?" replied Gwen, but she stopped.

"Please, Gwen, we can still be friends," said Mary-Lou, "I'll forgive you breaking the pen, I'll even forget about it. You bought me a new one, it's like nothing ever happened. Gwen, please, let's be friends again."

"Why?" said Gwen, "You have Darrell and Sally, isn't that enough for you?"

"But Gwen," said Mary-Lou, "I don't want Sally or Darrell. I want you."

"Then you should have thought better before choosing Darrell," said Gwen.

"I couldn't have Darrell take the blame for something she didn't done," said Mary-Lou, "I just couldn't have."

"I trusted you, Mary-Lou," said Gwen, "And you went after Darrell."

Mary-Lou felt miserable. It was true; all of it was true. She broke Gwen's trust, abandoned her, left her behind, and started being friendly with Darrell and Sally. She did not even say a single kind word to Gwen after she had been found. Instead, she left her alone and friendless. And now, at the very end of the term, she had the cheek to come back to Gwen and ask to be friends again, when she did not do even the least to deserve it.

Yet, Gwen had broken her pen to get Darrell in trouble. Gwen did not even say sorry, no matter how insincerely. Gwen hurt Mary-Lou to hurt others, when Mary-Lou trusted her. She knew that Gwen was far from perfect, but she did not know that she was so deceitful and malicious.

However, as Gwen stood in front of her, shaking with fury, tears welling in her eyes, Mary-Lou still felt the enchantment that drew her into Gwen's power. She was able to resist it now, but she felt that she did not want to do so. She still wanted to be friends with Gwen, even after all that Gwen had done. She could forgive and she did want to forgive. After all, there was no one else who wanted to be Gwen's friend and Mary-Lou did not want Gwen to suffer.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, "Gwen, can you forgive me?"

"I do not want to," said Gwen, "It's all your fault. If you weren't nosing around, none of this would have happened."

"If I didn't do anything, everyone would blame Darrell!" said Mary-Lou, "It is your own fault! You broke the pen, so you should take the responsibility!"

"I bought you a new one, didn't I?" said Gwen, "You said yourself it's like nothing ever happened."

"Gwen, please," said Mary-Lou, "Don't be like that."

"Why shouldn't I?" screamed Gwen, "This entire term, that horrid Alicia makes fun of me, Darrell humiliates me over and over again, and now, you betray me! I have every right to be angry!"

With this, Gwen broke down into tears and Mary-Lou, disregarding what Gwen had just said, ran over to her and hugged the sobbing girl. Gwen did not resist and Mary-Lou stroked and kissed her golden hair, waiting until Gwen's tears ran out. Then, with one last, choking sob, Gwen pushed Mary-Lou away.

"I don't need you," said Gwen, "Just go to your Darrell and Sally."

"Gwen, please," said Mary-Lou in one last, desperate plea.

"I hate you almost as much as I hate Darrell and Alicia," said Gwen, "So go after them. You're all alike."

"Gwen," said Mary-Lou, "Are you the least bit sorry for what you did?"

"No," said Gwen, "Nothing of it is my fault."

Again, feelings she was ashamed of flooded Mary-Lou's heart. She wanted to slap Gwen and to throw the magnificent pen, which she had just received, at her, but she quickly suppressed it, whether from cowardice or sensibility, she did not know. Instead, she just turned away and walked away, without saying a word.

And yet, when she saw Gwen again in the next term, Mary-Lou felt a pang of regret in her heart. Maybe, maybe if she were a bit more patient and a bit more kind to Gwen, things might have turned out differently. However at that moment, Mary-Lou heard Darrell calling her and she turned to her friend with a smile on her face.


	2. 02 Daphne

As happy and jolly as those days in San were, Mary-Lou was anxious about the future. Daphne would have to face judgement for what she had done and even though Mary-Lou wished that the other girls would be merciful, there was no guarantee that they would be. Especially Gwen, who had become Mary-Lou's sworn enemy as much as her cowardice would allow her, ever since they had separated on such bitter terms. Now that even Daphne had a chance to slip from her grasp, Gwen would surely be furious.

However, even that anxiety was insufficient to cloud the bright cheery sky of the scant few days they spent together in jolly companionship. As they had few better things to do, they chatted amicably, as if they returned to the old days of childhood when even shy Mary-Lou able to make friends with children she had met only minutes before. They had invented dozens of shared jokes in only few days, jokes they would never be able share with anyone else, who did not share those golden days with them.

The friendship forged in San proved to be an enduring one and Daphne soon became a much dearer friend to Mary-Lou than Darrell ever was. With Daphne as her special friend, the rest of the second and third years just flew by, with little to disturb Mary-Lou's peace of mind. She even found it in herself to smile when she saw Darrell smitten a little by Bill's boyish charms.

Mary-Lou wished that time would stop ticking forever. Her life was perfect as it was now and there was nothing else that she wanted. However, she should have known that such bliss was unlikely to last for much longer. The end though, came from a completely unlikely quarter. She had expected that if anyone, a new girl would be to blame, but it was Daphne who had shattered the seemingly unshakeable happiness.

It was another perfectly sunny day at Malory Towers and even Daphne could be coaxed to go on a walk on such a fine day. The bounds allowed to fourth formers were much more generous than those for lower forms and Mary-Lou was quite keen to explore the new places, especially when together with Daphne, who took care to take her finest hat to the outing.

While Mary-Lou was intent on looking around the new places they were allowed to visit, Daphne did not treat it much differently than any other walk, walking at the slowest possible pace, careful to keep her clothes scrupulously clean, as if she never went outside the castle in the first place.

They didn't make it very far before Daphne stated that she wanted to rest, asking Mary-Lou to stop for a little while. Not wishing to start even the smallest row, Mary-Lou assented and they found themselves a nice flat rock to sit on. Unaware of what time it was, Mary-Lou glanced at her wristwatch. It seemed that they barely had time to rest for fifteen minutes, before they would have to start on their way back, if they wanted to avoid trouble.

She sighed, disappointed that because of Daphne, they hadn't gotten very far from Malory Towers. "What's wrong?" asked Daphne.

Not wanting to disappoint her friend, Mary-Lou shook her head and tried to smile. "It's getting late," she said, "We'd better start back soon."

"Is that so?" said Daphne, "Sorry for slowing you down."

"Don't be," said Mary-Lou, "I invited you. I wanted you here."

"Thank you," said Daphne, taking hold of Mary-Lou's hand.

Something in Daphne's expression told Mary-Lou that her friend wanted to say more, but she did not expect what came next. Quite suddenly, Daphne leaned towards Mary-Lou, kissing her, their lips meeting for a split second before Mary-Lou realised what was going on and jerked her head backwards. More aware of Daphne holding her hand than ever, Mary-Lou stared at Daphne in confusion. Why?

Mary-Lou searched for some words to say, but it was Daphne who spoke first. "Mary-Lou, I…" she began, before pausing for a short moment, "I wanted to say I'm sorry, but I'm not."

It was still hard for Mary-Lou to hold a coherent thought. One thought was constantly returning and hammering at her brain. Why would Daphne do that? Why would she ruin everything? Why would Daphne do that? She knew why would Daphne kiss her, but she couldn't admit it to herself. Daphne was her special friend, the one person in the entire world that Mary-Lou trusted completely and without question with her innermost thoughts and feelings. She felt almost betrayed in that trust, but that was just a silly thought. Just one look at Daphne as she was now, tears showing themselves in corners of her eyes, was enough to let anyone know that betraying or hurting Mary-Lou was the last thing on Daphne's mind.

Mary-Lou was unable to look Daphne in the face anymore. She turned her eyes down to the ground. "Sorry," was all she said before starting to walk quickly back to the castle, ashamed of herself for being so cowardly and for hurting her friend. Yet, she didn't turn her head to see Daphne's reaction.

That day, Daphne missed dinner, only returning to the dormitory just before lights out and not speaking to anyone. Mary-Lou couldn't help but look at Daphne, worried about the girl, despite the fact that she was the source of her troubles. Outwardly, not much seemed to have changed about Daphne, even if she was a little bit paler than usual. However, she was even more reticent with others than usual. Beside Mary-Lou, Daphne did not have any close friends at Malory Towers, but she was at least on speaking terms with everyone except Gwen. Mary-Lou's heart hurt at seeing Daphne like this, but there was little she could have done that evening.

That night, Mary-Lou had trouble falling asleep, as she simply couldn't stop thinking about poor Daphne. She simply had to talk with her and clear matters up. She did not want to lose her best friend because of something so silly. When the sleep finally arrived, it was uneasy and Mary-Lou woke up many times during the night, although she did not remember if she had any dreams.

She was tired in the morning, but she forced herself to get up. There was much to be done that day. Not only schoolwork, though Mary-Lou knew she wouldn't do much of that, if her brain continued to feel as woolly as it did in the morning, but she had to talk with Daphne. Compared to losing her friendship with Gwen, losing Daphne's friendship was something Mary-Lou couldn't even imagine.

The lessons were a blur and Mary-Lou's notes were a disorganised jumble of words written in handwriting so horrible, that Mary-Lou herself couldn't decipher a single one of them. The end of the last lesson was the start of freedom, but Mary-Lou still dreaded it, since she could not put off talking to Daphne any longer. Before she could lose her courage, Mary-Lou took hold of Daphne's hand and, for lack of better words, dragged to a little frequented corridor.

"Daphne," she said, "We have to talk."

Daphne was silent for a moment. "I suppose so," she said finally.

"Can we forget about what happened yesterday?" said Mary-Lou, "Please?"

"I…" said Daphne, "I'll try."

"Thank you," said Mary-Lou, "Thank you so much."

"Before we do that," said Daphne, "Could you tell me why? It's fine if you don't want to, but…"

Mary-Lou gulped. However, Daphne deserved to know. If anyone did, it was Daphne. She took a deep breath before speaking. "I-I just can't. I'm afraid and we're friends and if something happened and there was a row and we wouldn't speak to each other, I wouldn't be able to bear it. I'm sorry."

Tears were already in her eyes when she said that, making her vision blurry and therefore, Mary-Lou was taken by surprise when Daphne hugged her. She knew that the girl didn't intend to do anything else than just try to comfort her, but she still shrank away, afraid for Daphne's friendship. Daphne apparently noticed, since she immediately drew back, mumbling an apology. Mary-Lou wiped the tears out of her eyes and tried to smile a little to reassure Daphne. Seeing that, Daphne smiled back and everything seemed to return back to ordinary. Still smiling, Mary-Lou took Daphne's hand and despite her fears, it wasn't any different than usual.

Mary-Lou was still a little but teary, but also happy that nothing had happened after all. Yet, there was that small nasty thought in the back of her head, saying that she had hurt Daphne and that everything was somehow her fault. And it was true. It had to be. Even if Daphne didn't say a single word of blame to Mary-Lou, nor did she reveal what was going through her head, it was plain to see that she was hurt terribly. If it were Gwen, she would be already hurling insults at Mary-Lou, but Daphne, Daphne only seemed a little sadder.

Yet, there was nothing Mary-Lou could have done. Daphne was far too precious to her than to put her friendship in any kind of danger, even if whenever Mary-Lou saw the hint of sadness that sometimes came into Daphne's eyes, she was tormented with guilt.


	3. 03 Clarissa

There was something eerily familiar about the current situation. Ever since the Hon. Clarissa Carter arrived at the school, Mary-Lou found her attention drawn to her. Ever after her schoolmates - apart from Gwen of course - had given up on the girl, Mary-Lou's interest remained unabated. The glasses and braces didn't matter, since Mary-Lou knew that looks didn't mean much in the end. Would anyone call Darrell beautiful? No, but Darrell was still a girl that anybody just had to admire.

In addition, Mary-Lou felt guilty about abandoning Clarissa to Gwen's tender mercies. It had already happened with Daphne and then with Zerelda. Neither of the girls deserved such treatment, no matter how bad they might have been at first. Although Mary-Lou felt bad for thinking about such things, Gwen seemed to have attached herself to Clarissa only because she was charmed by the glamour of Clarissa's rank and the possibility of emulating Clarissa's weak heart, even though that apart from Mam'zelle Dupont and Clarissa, there wasn't a single soul at Malory Towers that believed in Gwen's weak heart.

However, the attention that she was paying to Clarissa was already affecting Mary-Lou in an adverse way. Daphne had noticed and the unspoken tension remaining between them had revealed itself again.

"Mary-Lou, can we talk?" said Daphne to Mary-Lou the day after half-terms, just as they were leaving the classroom after their last lesson for the day.

Although she had an inkling of what was going to be the subject of the conversation and dreading it, Mary-Lou nodded. They waited until the girls had passed them by and even Miss Potts disappeared in the corridor, giving them only a short glance, and then they looked at each other, both fully aware of what was going to happen.

"Mary-Lou," said Daphne, "Are you really that interested in Clarissa?"

Now that the subject was out in the open, Mary-Lou felt a weight lift from her shoulders and felt a little more at ease, even though there were still several tonnes of weight hanging around her neck. "I am," she said, still leaving the initiative to Daphne.

Daphne sighed, her suspicions apparently confirmed. "I thought so," she said, "Oh Mary-Lou, do you have to?"

"I can't just leave her to Gwen," said Mary-Lou, "I almost did that with you, and look how that turned out."

Daphne was opening her mouth to speak even before Mary-Lou finished, but she closed it again and bit her lip. When she spoke, it was slowly and Daphne sounded uncertain, "I… I understand. Sorry, I won't get in your way."

Instead of responding immediately, Mary-Lou stepped closer to Daphne and hugged her. "Oh, Daphne," she said after few moments, "Don't be like that."

There was no reply and each second of silence send another wave of guilt at Mary-Lou. Why couldn't Daphne understand- No, Daphne did understand and that was the problem. If Daphne didn't understand, Mary-Lou could go on thinking that only if she explained, everything would be better. She still felt guilt over how she treated Daphne before and now, Mary-Lou was apparently hurting Daphne again.

"I'm so sorry, Daphne," she said to break the torturous silence.

Daphne drew away from her and smiled, a small, forced smile, caused more by a conscious effort on Daphne's part, rather than any happy feeling. It was probably an attempt to comfort Mary-Lou, but the effect was quite the opposite. "Don't be sorry," said Daphne in a voice that sounded as if she was on the verge of bursting into tears, "That was all my selfishness. I can't keep you to myself all the time."

Mary-Lou smiled though she suspected her smile was very much like Daphne's. "Thank you," she forced herself to say, ignoring the plea she had heard in Daphne's voice.

This time, there seemed to be more genuine feeling in Daphne's smile, but maybe it was just Mary-Lou trying to convince herself that she wasn't betraying a friend she had already hurt so much.

Mary-Lou had a chance to speak with Clarissa on the evening of the same day. Gwen was serving detention under the auspices of Mam'zelle Rougier, catching up on all the work she had wormed her way out of doing during Mam'zelle Dupont's lesson, and therefore, Clarissa was left alone for once, sitting in a corner of the common room, already finished with her prep, reading some book or the other – Mary-Lou thought that she saw horses on the cover. _The light in the corner can't be good for her eyes_, thought Mary-Lou, reminding herself about Clarissa's thick glasses.

She approached Clarissa and sat into an empty chair that was usually occupied by Gwen. While Clarissa briefly looked up when she heard Mary-Lou coming closer, she did not say anything. As they have never really talked outside of basic courtesies, Mary-Lou found it a little awkward to address Clarissa, but eventually she gathered her courage to do it. "Um… Clarissa," she said.

"Yes?" said Clarissa, still not lifting her eyes from the book.

"I just wanted to ask how are you doing," said Mary-Lou, "You do not seem to enjoy yourself here that much."

"Oh, I'm just fine, thank you," said Clarissa, finally looking at Mary-Lou, "School's for work after all, isn't it?"

"Yes, yes, of course it is," said Mary-Lou, "But having a good time isn't prohibited."

"I had a splendid time during half-term," said Clarissa, "It's a bit harder at other times." She said those last words while putting a hand on her chest.

"You heart can't prevent you from talking to others," said Mary-Lou, "You don't have to be all alone just because Gwen isn't here."

Clarissa smiled, a little sadly. "The others aren't much interested in me," she said, "And besides, everyone here does so much running around, that I'd just hold them back."

"Nonsense," said Mary-Lou, "Come see me and Daphne some day. I promise we won't do anything that would strain your heart too much."

"Actually," said Clarissa, blushing faintly in the lamplight, "I'm a little afraid of Daphne. Gwen told me-"

"Gwendoline Mary says a lot of things," said Mary-Lou, not even thinking before cutting Clarissa off, "But Daphne is the nicest girl in the entire school. I guarantee that."

"I-I see," said Clarissa after a little hesitation and then she fell silent. Gwen must have been talking not only about Daphne, but Mary-Lou as well. And about Darrell and Bill and Belinda and everyone else who had ever given Gwen a fair shaking or at least inconvenienced her a little.

Feeling awkward, Mary-Lou racked her brains for something to say and draw Clarissa out once again, but before she could think of anything, Gwen entered the room looking tired and annoyed, heading towards her customary seat – the one that Mary-Lou was currently occupying.

"What are you doing here?" she said immediately after reaching Mary-Lou.

"I was just talking to Clarissa," said Mary-Lou.

"Well, it seems that she doesn't want to talk to you," said Gwen with a smirk, since Clarissa had once again returned to her book, "Right, Clarissa?"

"What?" said Clarissa who apparently needed only a few seconds to become engrossed in the pages, "Oh, hello Gwen."

"Is she bothering you?" said Gwen, motioning towards Mary-Lou.

"No, not at all," said Clarissa, "We were just chatting a little while ago."

"Is that so?" said Gwen before turning towards Mary-Lou, "I ought to shake you, but my heart-"

"Oh, stuff it with your heart," called Darrell from over the room, probably attracted by Gwen's volume, "Mam'zelle Dupont is the only one who believes in that rubbish and you should be ashamed of yourself for lying to her so shamelessly."

"I _do_ have a weak heart," protested Gwen, wiping some imaginary sweat from her forehead, "In fact, I do feel faint even now. I really ought to sit down and rest a little."

With Gwen present and guarding her like a hawk, there was no chance of talking to Clarissa any more, so Mary-Lou rose and went to join the other girls, leaving the chair vacant for Gwen. "I can't believe that Gwen," said Darrell, "I say, all this will turn out badly for her. Though Mary-Lou, it was capital of you to try and talk to Clarissa a little. She may not be much, but it's beastly of Gwen to keep her away from everyone."

Mary-Lou had to smile upon hearing Darrell's praise. However, just as she felt her cheeks turning light pink, Mary-Lou saw Daphne, sitting together with Mavis, but looking so forlorn that Mary-Lou couldn't help but feel sad at the sight. Yet, even when she joined Daphne and took of her hand, lightly squeezing to reassure her friend, Mary-Lou's sight kept moving from Darrell to Clarissa and back again.


End file.
